22 August 2014

Not a pretty return

I have taken some time off from my blog to get my act together. Lots going on and not going on, if you dig where I am coming from...

I have gone from looking DESPERATELY to get out of the situation I was in at the college where I was teaching for the last 5 years. People warned me about academia and I didn't listen (as usual). Then.. I got chewed up.. and spit out as I was warned... double alumna be damed..

So, I got a job, then another job, then another job.... and I was still not making ends meet, and I was getting less time in the studio. THEN... FINALLY a job that I wanted all along came back after the 3 month trial period for their last employee (the one they chose over me). WOOO!!!! It is a great job for me, and it allows me to get my OCD out of my system before I come home. (well most of it...)

You are welcome Dave!

But, through all of that... something happened in the news. Not in MY back yard. Which is very safe and protected.. Someone breaks into someone's car and the town is in an uproar.. "Oh MY not in MY town!!! What is this world coming to??!!"

So... a young man named Kajieme Powell was shot. The way you see a rabid animal shot down (which I ALSO cannot watch without feeling pain) He was shot because he stole 2 bottles of energy drinks. was he in the wrong for that. YES! Was the right action taken? the store owner/manager/worker (I have no idea which) called the police for shoplifting. YES! then comes the part that rips me to my core...

Some background...
I was hanging with the boys after a day of surfing at Hampton Beach one July 4th. It was a really fun day..At the end, we all went back to the car (After fireworks) and were all leaning against the car.
Some men came up (later to find out they were undercover officers) and started yelling at us to get in the car. My "bf" at the time.. (ugh) said something smart, and the cops zeroed in on us. They held him up against the car, which scared me. I didn't understand that they were police.. they had not identified themselves as such yet. I yelled and ran over (what was I going to do? Stop a fight between 2 guys and my "bf"?
 They then let him go, flipped me toward the car and SLAMMED me into it multiple times and pulled their gun on me.

I have to say.. I have NEVER felt so alone as that moment. Everyone was just staring and no one said anything. I later (2 days of pain later) found out 2 of my ribs were fractured. At a certain point they just walked off. (or maybe I blacked out from fear. I can honestly say I had not had a gun deliberately pointed at me before.

The next day my "bf"'s mother called the station after hearing our story and this is what the hampton police said... 
"Yea, some stupid Black chick was acting up, you know how they do, and if we could have gotten a paddy wagon in we would have done more.. THEN arrested her... laughter".

So, I was taught that I was the same as everyone else. I was taught that only people who had something wrong with THEM would say and do things and not to take it personally. I was taught to just ignore ignorance.

I ALSO was brought up to respect police, and to this day I do.. I have met some great ones and a couple have saved my life and been friends.

Now, how am I to look at this?

Shaken to my core.

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